For as long as we all can remember, women have had it hard where their mother-in-law is concerned. Mother-in-laws have always made it difficult for their daughter-in-laws to get close to them.
They have a tendency to make it seem like being a part of the family is a competition. Then conflict starts, as we (the daughter-in-laws) try to fit in and to win his mother over.
The harder you try the more she seems to push you away. She will go out of her way to prove that she knows her son best and that you can never take that away.
While all of the above is how the relationship between a wife and her mother-in-law generally goes, it really doesn't have to be that way. It really is a matter of just looking at the whole situation in a different light. You need to try to put yourself in his mother's shoes.
For her son's entire life, she was the number one lady in his life. She was the one who was there for every cold, boo boo, joy and sorrow. She picked him up when he fell and sang his praises when he did a good job. She is the one who was his best buddy until you came along.
A mother raises her son to grow up to be a wonderful young man as well as an outstanding father and husband. She hopes and prays that he meets the perfect girl that will be there to take care of him and love him with all of her heart just as she has done for his whole life.
Now when that actually happens, it is the hardest thing for her, as his mother, to go through. She is no longer the woman who puts that sparkle in his eyes and she no longer knows him better than anyone else. You have taken that place and that is a hard thing for a mother to accept.
Many women find it a natural instinct to prove to her mother-in-law that she now knows what is best for him and that is where the conflict starts. Think about it though, what will it really hurt to let her have some of those cherished thoughts?
Will it really make that much difference in your relationship with him if you let his mother believe that she is still the ones who knows her son best in certain areas? The answer is no, it will not hurt your marriage in any way.
You need to find a few things that she can hold the title to, in his eyes, such as knowing his favorite food (even if it really isn't his favorite meal anymore). Make sure to include her in family things and make it point to let her know that he really adores her.
You might even find little things to ask her advice about where he is concerned. You do not have to go with what she advises but it will make her feel as she is still a special part of his life.
By doing these few small things you will find that your relationship with her will be a much happier one.
